1/4/20

This is what my dad looks like today. 

So I did get to see him in person long enough to say hi, the first time. The second time which was recent I was actually at his court hearing. Got to talk to him and his attorney which he allowed. Damn if I couldn't hear that judge! He was supposed to be discharged from jail but that never happened, the judge denied him getting out... 

So he sent paper work back home with me. As we were ready to leave he said "you're not going to be able to give me hug with that in your hands." So I put the paper work down and gave him a hug. Then we all departed. I'm glad I got to see him.

I do talk to him by phone and email through jailatm. I told mom that I wanted to get to know my dad and be around him. Mom told me awhile back; "If u want to get to know him or be around him that's up to you." So that's what I'm trying to do. 

Okay so mom has told me,as well as dad, they knew I was with the "Dodd" Family of Doddridge County, WV.  Mom and dad never bothered me but they didn't want to get in trouble. Dad was good friends with the Doddridge County Commissioner back than..plus the state attorney left my file open and dad seen it read "baby girl Stout". It read on further down "Serinda Nicole Stout."  Dad told me himself he would drive down rt.23 quite often hoping to see me outside, to see what looked like. According to the county commissioner he was told that I was healthy and growing like I should, plus I was happy, living a good life. Eventually dad left Doddridge County and went else where. I know he got put in jail for raping my mom when she was 21. She fucked him up good than put him behind bars where he belonged. 

So, you do the math mom is 14 yrs old when she was pregnant me then.  Though when she was 21 I was 7...do the math.

21

14

___

07

At the time that happened I was 7 years old.  She was living with dad when that happened I think. Where was my sister and two brothers at? Probably with their dad. Oh boy, I just seen it, I would have been where ever she was because Donald Stout is my dad. So I probably would have lived with her and him. Oh that's fucked up!  Probably would have went to West Union or Carr Elementary school if I had lived out there with both of them.  I'm truly glad I was adopted..though I know mom would've protected me with everything she possibly could've. 

Charles , George, Jasper, Zoey, Lacey, Bailey, Gram (Brenda Casters-Moats) Lil George, Pixie (Gram's dog) Bella (mom's dog) on my mom's lap (Peggy). Christmas 2019.

I'm glad I was "wanted".

 Listen to the song "Wanted" by Danny Gokey. I love this song.   it reminds me and of me searching for my family. I always wondered if I was ever wanted ? Why they gave away?  Now I know I was taken by the state. Mom and I are supposed to take  a trip to Doddridge County Court House in West Union to pull my file. 

Mom's planning on taking me to "Morgan's Run" where she lived the place I would have been raised. Than she was gonna take me to Grandpa and Grandma Stout's old Place on "Sunnyside". Probably gonna be happy, sad and lots of questions and note taking day for me. Than we'll go see my siblings DC and Gage. I'm also a little excited and nervous too. I'll take photos if I can.